Radical parenting

So... I read a fabulous article written by former Calgary AP Mama, Tabitha Tucker, someone I know, personally and whose quiet activism has inspired me.

A link to the article is here: http://www.synergymag.ca/parenting-a-radical-political-act/

Tabitha, thanks for your honesty and for your example!!

For all you mothers out there who think being a stay at home mom is the easy, lazy way out, or that trusting your kids to someone else to raise them and teach them values is more respectable than the former... I challenge you to read this article.

For those who've read it, what do you think?

Crappy Parents

I can scarcely believe that it is nearly November.

Smooch has been in school now for two months...he is so happy there. I, on the other hand, am struggling.

I have worked hard to keep Smooch innocent.

I've avoided using sarcasm with him and, anyone who knows me well knows how difficult this is for me.

Alan and I have practiced manners with the boys, tried to keep them from being innundated with commercial messages, encouraged them to talk about their feelings, to be kind and loving.

It's at this point that I must complain, just a little.

A message to SOME parents of Kinder-garten and Grade One children; Your kids are mean. Cynicism, sarcasm and eye-rolling in a 5-7 year old is NOT attractive. Bullying is even less so. It is a token of your parenting that your children are unkind and rude. Pull up your socks and parent.

There...I said it...and I meant it. I just want to add that there are plenty of wonderful families at Smooch's school.

Other than that, we are all enjoying the Waldorf school, especially me...I have learned to knit, under taken a large volunteer project and met some amazing Moms!

Smooth...

I love days that go off without a hitch. Today has been one of those kind of days.

I'be been reading a new book - "Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman.

Don't get me wrong. I think my kids are fantastic...in my opinion, books like these deal far more with parenting problems than with kid problems.

I am a softie and let things go until I yell...there, I admitted it and admitting is, apparently, the first step.

The idea behind the book is that you should only have to ask your kids to do something (or stop doing something) once. It gives strategies for parents to turn kids who tune out into kids who listen...and reasons to stay calm. I think most of us can use some of these.

I am already using some of these strategies successfully and I can honestly say that I have not yelled once today...so far, so good.

We tidied the upstairs and throughly cleaned the kitchen, had a playdate, a snack and played with playdough. Visited the park, had lunch and put a loaf of bread in the breadmaker. Liam voluntarily pooped on the potty (which is good because it would have been messy) then I went upstairs with the boys and told them it was time for a nap...they are still sleeping.

Alan is due home in 2 hours and we will have a salad, fresh loaf of bread and soup for dinner.

I love smooth days...

The "Rules" for families

We are at a crossroads in the Urbane House.

Do we establish a formal set of rules for our home, complete with consequences for breaking said rules?

Do we try and "talk it out" every time an incident occurs??

A combination of both?

I think the lack of formal house rules leads to problems...at least in our home.

Bliss

There is nothing like starting the day wedged between a 3 year old, who insists on sharing your pillow, and a 5 year old with sleep apnea who snores like a bandsaw. You should try it!

It was in such a position I found myself this morning.

Deciding that I, too, wanted to sleep comfortably, and realising there were several perfectly unoccupied beds down the hall, I decided to take action.

Carefully and gracefully I extricated myself from the jumble of limbs, blankets and stuffed animals and wiggled down to the foot of the bed.

Looking back I realised why I'd been so crowded. My dear, kind and very deaf husband was sprawled across more than his half of our ample-sized bed. Leaving the remaining space for me and two preschoolers.

The boys room is a quiet, cool place. Soft music plays all night. An ever-changing glow-lamp casts a myriad of colours on the wall and ceiling. The best thing about it is that...yes, it is empty.

Snuggled into bed, it didn't take long for me to drift off...and it took even less time to feel the inevitable poke on the cheek.

Noggin wants a cuddle and I am, technically, sleeping in his bed.

I move over and make space while he gets comfortable. He has his own pillow, but prefers to share mine. I open my eyes to see him staring at me, inches away.

He giggles and closes his eyes.

In moments, we are both fast asleep, again.