Thursday, July 2, 2009

Promises, Promises...

My Dad is not a "my word is my bond" kind of guy.

My entire life he has made me promises... from promising to teach me to drive (he didn't, he said it was because I was a girl), to promising to show up for parent teacher interviews(he didn't... something at work came up and my teacher had to drive me home) to promising to come visit us out here in Calgary(a multitude of things have come up to prevent this). When I mention it to him he becomes angry and defensive and demanding.

For the past two summers he has been promising to come out and spend time with us out here. Inevitably "plans change" and he calls asking us to come out there instead. We suggest meeting in the middle (it is a 9 hour drive) and he makes a million excuses as to why that will not work for him. Last year they drove all over the West Coast in a motorhome and drove home through Red Deer and didn't bother to stop and see us.

I feel like I am digging in my heels, but I am so tired of his false promises and of being the person who is the peace-maker and tries to make everyone happy. I sent him a message telling him that we already had plans for next week and, if all else fails and he doesn't manage to visit us here this summer, like he has been promising, we will see him in September at my cousin's wedding.

I am feeling so angry right now...I think I need to go wreck my journal.


Jennifer said...

Sorry that your Dad has let you down.
Stay strong for you and your family.

Angela said...

So sorry he has done this to you... get it out in your journal!

Jo-Ann said...

I am so sorry. My dad has also let me down in my life. I am just not important enough to him.

I have come to a realization that it is him who is loosing out. It has been a release for me to not wait for him, but if time allows, he can be a part of our lives. Maybe that is not the best way to view things, but it is the way that I have come to deal with him.

And it feels good.

Hope that you can find a happy medium with your dad too.