Thursday, March 5, 2009

Different kind of Baby Blues

I want to have another baby. There. I've said it.

I know it sounds crazy, especially given my recent rambling and ranting on the challenges surrounding Smooch.

Alan is completely against it. He thinks I am crazy for even considering it.

He thinks: we have two kids out of diapers, one trained through the night and both can dress and feed themselves...why add another 3+ years of poo/sleepless nights/baby stuff/expense when we are finally moving out of that stage.

All I can think is that I know I will regret it forever if I don't.

I will be 35 in June and think that if I want to do this again, it needs to be soon. do you feel with your current number of children? Any little nagging thoughts of more? Is your partner satisfied with the amount you have??

Be my devil's advocate.


Amber said...

I have 4 kids. When my last baby was born, the dr. very intensely told me NO MORE and then lectured my husband in the hallway on the same thing.

My husband booked a vasectomy and had it done when my baby was 7.5 months old.

I am heartbroken over this, but working through it, and have an anonymous blog where I rant, rave, whine and cry on that very subject. It has taken me until recently to finally be okay with having no more babies, but I still have days where I'm not okay with it.

It is really hard when your partner is not hoping for the same thing as you are. I say bring up the subject, talk about it a lot and see what happens. My hubby said he was happy stopping with the 2 we had, but soon after, he asked when we'd have #3, and later admitted he expected that we'd end up with 5.

Tough subject, and tough decision. HUGS

Jenn M said...

It's such a hard decision. I think you need to figure out why you really want another child. Do you miss the "baby" stage. Do you want another baby, but a toddler/preschooler isn't such a great thing? Do you want 3 kids?

No one can answer this question for you. I know I don't want another baby. It took me getting to the other side of depression to realize why I wanted another child. I wanted another child because I missed so much of E's babystages being sad all the time. So I thought that if I had another child I would somehow get that back. Then I had a revelation moment. With B, I had the baby blues, with E I had full on depression, do I really want to go through that crap for another baby? And you know the answer for me. Maybe we might adopt but that will be a long time from now.

Good luck with your decision.. Its not an easy one, nor should it be made easy..

Kris said...

It all depends I guess. 3 was my PERFECT number, #3 being born 4 years after #2. I was like having two waves of kids. LOVED IT. Four has been extremely difficuly for both of us especially with the younger two being so close (close by our expected standards) but I know Smudgie was supposed to be here in our family. We don't want anymore, neither of us. I can't have anymore due to my health issues. For us, 3 was the perfect number nay sayers about the "middle child syndrome" be damned. That's my 2 cents.